December 12, 2005

Hmmmm... so if my surgery date hadn't been postponed, today would be my surgiversary. Very weird. At times, I feel like my surgery was soooo long ago and at other times it feels so recent. It doesn't feel like it has been almost a year. So much has happened & I have grown and changed a great deal too.

And, of course I look & feel completely different. I have been in a weird palce... happy though (Maybe i should focus on taking my meds). I haven't lost as much as I wanted to this year... but I can't complain with 144lb loss since 1.3.06 and 156 lb loss from my heaviest weight. I weigh 236 lbs. This time one year ago I weighed 383 lbs. I have lost a person. WOW!

I am not beating myself up... Of course, I wanted to loose more... who wouldn't? But, I am doing so well! I just have to remind myself sometimes. This was the best thing I ever did for myself. I gave myself the gift of life! If, I hadn't done this - I would easily be 500 lbs is not more and my knees would have probably blown out by known. This is probably the happy version... it would be bad! But, it isn't. I am taking care of myself & I know I deserve it!

I still have a more to loose and I will. I will get to my goal. I am succesful so far with my WLS (weight loss surgery). I will keep being successful! My gallbladder issues were a bigger setback then I first thought. But, that is not an excuse and I am moving forward and getting back to where I was.

I am still on target to be 200 lbs even for my birthday on February 17. That would be amazing (180 lbs lost in one year and 6 weeks). I think I can I think I can! I am trying not to focus on numbers and just do what I need to do and focus on how I feel.

I take it day by day & I am living! In time.

I will get to where I want to be. Cause, I have the power to make my dreams come true. I want it, therefore, I am making it happen!

Dixie Chicks - Wide Open Spaces

I can't stop playing this video. I even play the song constantly in my car. Hmmmm... new theme song? Nah, Love is all around - will always be my theme song!

Today I am 11 months post op! : D

December 10, 2005 - WOW!

December 3, 2006 - 11 months post op

Current Weight - 236lbs
Surgery Weight - 380lbs
Heaviest Weight - 392 lbs

144 lbs lost since surgery on January 3, 2006

156 lbs lost from my heaviest weight

Current Sizes:

Pants - 20 (almost an 18)
Shirts - 12
Bra - 38 D @ Victoria's Secret
Panties - XL @ Victoria's Secret (their hiphugger panties are the best!)

How am I here? How did 11 months go by so fast. I am reminded of a line in a song from The Muppets Take Manhattan... "Days go passing into years, years go passing day by day!" Although, I feel like the past 11 months have flown by, I also feel like I had my R-n-Y sooo long ago. I find myself accidentally telling people my surgery date as January 3, 2005, instead of the correct date January 3, 2006.

I have done a great deal of changing over the last 11 months. And, I know I will still change - everyday. I am still Marla, and certain things about me will never change. However, other things have & will. I am a better Marla. I am a improved Marla. I have grown & matured ove the past 11 months. I am shedding not just pounds, but my baggage that I have clung to for so long.

I felt that I wasn't going to change after surgery. I was wrong. Whether you want to or not, you do change with weight loss surgery. There aren't just the obvious physical changes, but mental & emotional changes as well. It is a mind boggling, amazing, overwhelming roller coaster ride, that I don't want to get off of. It is truly the best thing I ever did for myself. I gave myself the gift of life!

I have blosssomed & matured over the past 11 months as well. I am an adult. I am becoming who I was meant to be. I am getting back to the Marla I was before my grandma died. I remember that Marla. But, I wasn't ready to be me... at that age. I am a strong, talented, funny, intelligent, beautiful, caring, loyal, honest, upbeat woman. I was too strong for my own good. I couldn't handle all my gifts and strengths & add to that my insecurity, let's just say it was easier to believe the people telling me I was a loser... but I am not! I am amazing! I am a ball of energy and spunk!

If I hadn't experienced what I did in my past, I might not be the person I am right now. And, I love the Marla I am today and the one I will be in the future because I am in control. Everything we experience good and bad helps to make us who we are. I got lucky, and turned things around... but, I love me & if given the oppurtuinty to relive my life. I would live my life exactly the same way- just becasue I love who I am now. And I wouldn't want to be different.

I am in it to win it. I have my eyes on the prize. I have the power to make all my dreams come true. If I want it, I can make it happen!

Happy 11 months post-op to me!

October & November 2005 - Revisted

Wow, sorry I haven't posted in awhile. Lots seems to have been gonig on. And of course, I am slowly approaching my surgiversary, which is mind blowing enough on it's own.I have spent this fall doing alot of thinking and revisting the same time the previous year. I can't believe how much I have changed, gwon and matured this year... well and loosing 144lbs of extra insulation. I crapped a person. But, that is a special post I am saving for this week.

Let's see where was I October 2005...

I was living & working in Manhattan. I was laid off from my job due to lack of work on or around October 12. I stayed in Manhattan and split my time between home and NYC. And collected unemployment benefits! The company I had worked for knew about my surgery and supported it. They felt bad about laying me off... So, they continued paying my health insurance through February 1, 2006. I was sooo lucky! Since HIP - my NY insurance - approved my surgery there was no point in moving back home till after surgery.

My dad retired. He owned a retail bike store that his father had started I believe in the 1940's. Dad liquadated the merchadise and sold the building and the land. Since mom worked at the store with dad, both my parents were no retired.

My surgery was scheduled for December 12, 2005!


Now - November 2005

I still wasn't loosing enough weight to have my weight loss surgery. Dr. McGinty wanted me to loose 20 - 25 lbs. I weight was plateauing. I had been on a high protein diet since the summer. Protein shake for breakfast & lunch... dinner 6 oz. protein 2 starch and 2 vegatables. My weight wasn't budging... I was done 9lbs from August '05

November 18, 2005 - The birth of SOON TO BE A FORMER FAT GIRL. I started my blog. Craziness. Then after my surgery I changed the name to FORMER FAT GIRL - my baby!

November 29, 2005 - The tuesday after Thanksging I had pre-op testing at the hospital as my sugery was scheduled for 2 weeks later - Decmber 12 2005. I got weighed and lost 1 pound.. not enough.

November 30, 2005 - Found out my surgery was being postponed to January 3, 2006 as 9 lbs wasn't enough of a loss. I lost it. I cryed, and cryed, and cryed. I was a mess. Then I decided to bust my ass over the following month & have my surgery. I did... When I went again after christmas for pre-op testing... I had lost 3 more lbs & Dr. McGinty felt fine with me having a lost a total of 12 lbs. I was so excited. I couldn't wait. January 3, 2006 wasn't coming fast enough.

Mary Tyler Moore Megamix - DanoramaProductions.com

I love Mary Tyler Moore. MTM is awesome! The Mary Tyler Moore Show is one of my all time faves. Her theme song is my theme song!

Happy Thanksgiving - Marla Style

This has been my turkey day ecard for the last couple of years. I thought I would post it for my readers...

I HOPE Y'ALL HAVE A FANTABULOUS THANKSGIVING

Comments?

Just wanted to let y'all know that it was brought to my attention, that there were some issues with people leaving comments on Former Fat Girl. The issue being that readers couldn't leave comments. I changed my comment settings so that now ANYONE can leave a comment. You no longer need to be a blogger member. Enjoy!!