F ' ing Pissed

So I went to the hospital today for all my pre-admission pre-op testing. So much to do. There was a refresher with the nurese practioner and the nutrtionist. In addition, there was weigh-in, bloodwork, anesthia talk, meet with a nurse, ekg and a chest xray. Oh, yeah we had a to tke a test. I scored a 95 out of 100. KICKASS!!

However, did I loose 20 lbs. Nope!!! I stayed the same. I have stayed the same for 2 months. Don't get me wrong, this is good. This is far better then gaining. But, now I don't know if they will postpone my surgery. I started crying when I saw the scale. I spoke to the nutrtionist. She is going to talk to my surgeon. Gawd, what am I gonna do. I can't loose 20 lbs in 13 days. I feel completely f 'cked. I feel like crying again. Please keep youir fingers crossed for me!! i want this more than anything. I just hope it works out. I have worked to hard for this. I am not giving up!!!

The good news, I don't feel like eating. That is a total positive. 6 months ago, I would've eaten over this. But, I have come to far to revert to old behavior.