Wednesday, February 22, 2006

So True

Reflection Christina Aguilera

Look at me
You may think you see who I really am
But you'll never know me
Everyday it's as if I play a part
Now I see
If I wear a mask I can fool the world
But I cannot fool my heart

Who is that girl I see
Staring straight back at me
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

I am now
In a world where I have to hide my heart
And what I believe in
But somehow
I will show the world
Whats inside my heart
And be loved for who I am

Who is that girl I see
staring straight back at me
Why is my reflection
Someone I dont know

Must I pretend that i'm
Someone else for all time

When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

There's a heart that must be free to fly
That burns with a need to know
The reason why
Why must we all conceal
What we think
How we feel
Must there be a secret me
I'm forced to hide
I wont pretend that I'm
Someone else for all time

When will my reflection show
who I am inside
When will my reflection show
Who I am inside

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Age & Life

I came to a conclusion a long time ago that age is nothing but a number. It is all about how you feel. If you feel young, you are young. If you feel old, you are old. I came to this conclusion when my grandfather turned 90 (approach. 7 years ago). He did not look his age. You see my Opa (German for grandpa) was an amazing person. He lived till a few weeks prior to his 97 birthday. He passed August 2004.

My Oma had died July 1998. Since then he was living on his own, driving (even though he shouldn't have), going out, etc. He was a total social butterfly and the life of the party. He was the youngest 90 year old person I knew. He died the way he wanted to; in his house, in his slept, with hospice care.

He felt young, therefore he was young.

There are a few exceptions to this theory. A boy must be 13 to have his Bar-Mitzvah, a girl can be either 12 or 13. You must be 16 to get your drivers permit in Massachusetts. You want to vote, buy cigarettes, and/ or must be 18. Wanna buy that 6-pack of beer? You need to be 21. Need to rent a car, you must be 25.

I just turned 26 on Friday. I don't feel any different. I feel great & young, but adult at the same time. So I did some math. I added the digits of my age together to come up with my actual age. 2 + 6 = 8. 8 seems about right!!

Friday, February 17, 2006

I am the Birthday Princess

So today 2.17.80 is my birthday!! I am 26 years old!!! WOW. This is my year. The year of Marla. There is so much I hope to achieve and accomplish this year. And, I know I will!! I am so excited. It is hard to believe I am almost 2 months post-op (3.3.06). I truly have been given a new beginning. It is so amazing.

I am going out with some friends tonight. My family and I will celebrate my birthday the first week in March when my brother will be home for his Spring Break!!! My birthday festivities will be Saturday the 25th as 2 friends are away! Dinner at a mexican restaurant, cozmic bowling, and then hanging out a bar. I can never just celebrate my birthday in one day. Many of celebration are required.

Looking back over the last 26 years:

I remember:

learning logo on a green screen brown box apple computer in kindergarten (1985)

life before answering machines, call waiting, caller id, cell phones

boxy cell phones when they first came out

tape players in cars

no cds

WOW and so much more, but I am saving that for another post.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Oh my goodness...

So, I can not believe I haven't blogged in about a month. Oh my! So much has happened, I can't believe I haven't bloggeed. I had my month follow up feb. 3. Everything went well I was done 36 since pounds since surgery. Now I am down a bit more then 50 lbs and it hasn't even been 2 months yet. So exciting to be below 350. My face is getting thinner and my jeans are getting bigger. I am able to wear pants that I haven't worn in about a year. It is so crazy.

I was diagnosed with osteo arthritis in my left knee. I have some lovely bone on bone action going on in my knee cap. I am going to go to physical therapy & recieve visco (lubrication shots in the knee cap). I am too young for a knee transplant. It seems that in 10 years I will probably need one. My weight doean't help. But, I busted my knee 10 years at camp and an injury makes you prone to osteo arthritis. Wahooooooo!!!!! Nuthin' I can't handle though.

It turns out that for every pound you weigh, it is 4 pounds of pressure on your knees. When I weighed 392 over the summer that equals 1600 lbs of pressure on my knees. I have lost about 50 pounds. Therefore, I have lost 200 lbs of pressure on my knees. I want to weigh 14O lbs with a net loss of 250 lbs. When I reach my goal weight it will be a loss of 1000 lbs of pressure from my knees. I love crazy math.

I picked up my parents extra car today from the bodyshop. It is the car they let me drive. My parents & I were rear eneded by an 18-wheeler truck on 95 in Stamford, CT almost 3 weeks ago. We are all fine. Thank Gawd!!!! Wowzer. We were all pretty sore. It happened driving home from my follow up appt. in NYC. I really thought we were dead. When I realized that my parents and I were fine, my first thought was that it would really if I diead in a car wreck 1 month after gastric bypass. BUT we are fine, and we have the extra car back. I love that 2005 Chevy Impala.