Sunday, November 26, 2006

Mary Tyler Moore Megamix - DanoramaProductions.com

I love Mary Tyler Moore. MTM is awesome! The Mary Tyler Moore Show is one of my all time faves. Her theme song is my theme song!

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Happy Thanksgiving - Marla Style


This has been my turkey day ecard for the last couple of years. I thought I would post it for my readers...

I HOPE Y'ALL HAVE A FANTABULOUS THANKSGIVING

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Comments?

Just wanted to let y'all know that it was brought to my attention, that there were some issues with people leaving comments on Former Fat Girl. The issue being that readers couldn't leave comments. I changed my comment settings so that now ANYONE can leave a comment. You no longer need to be a blogger member. Enjoy!!

Sunday, November 12, 2006

Touch-a, touch-a, touch me (The Rocky Horror Picture Show)

This is my favorite song from the Rocky Horror Picture Show!

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Marla = Janet Weiss

Saturday, November 11, 2006

10 months post op

So November 3 2006, marked my being a post-op for 10 months. So crazy. One week from today marks the 1 yr anniversary of my blog. November 11, 2005 - I weighed 387 lbs. Today - November 11, 2006 - I weigh in at 236lbs.

Current sizes:
Pants = 20
Shirts = 12 or 14
Bust = 38 D

November 11, 2005
Pants = 32
Shirts = 26/28
Bust = 44 C

Wednesday, November 08, 2006

Compliments # 2 aka I love Liz!

Liz deserves her very own post!

So, I have this friend named Liz. Gawd.. I think I have known her since I was two. Oh, we have only been friends for about 24 years! We grew up together on the same street. Our parents are friends & she is one of my oldest and dearest friends. It is hard to remember life before Liz and I were friends. Hmmm, kinda like how I feel about Molly! I was like Liz's little sidekick while we were growing up as she is two years older then me.

If I had to pick someone who was like my older sister while I was a kid it would be a tie between Liz & Jodi! I don't know if I ever told this to Liz, but I have always felt she was one of the coolest people I know. When I was younger, I felt so cool that she was my friend. Well, we grew up, became adults & are still friends. We are very similar but yet very different. We just get each other. Liz, I love you. I can't imagine not being friends with you. You were there for everything, thanks!

Now, the mushiness ends and the gloves come off. Liz, has always kept me in check and would tell it to me like it is. Our persoanlities are very similar. And we don't take crap from each other! Watchout though, cause when Liz kicks, she kicks hard. Yes, I love her for it! : D

Liz emailed the following to me this morning in regards to my photo that is in the previous post... enjoy!

"MARLA -
I can not believe you… I just looked at your blog. I don't care if you don't like compliments… you are getting them here and NOW! YOU LOOK UN F&*KING BELIEVABLE…. You are SOOO skinny… and I agree with everyone… I wouldn't NOT recognize you from behind… welcome back neck and great bosoms ;)

xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxo"

THANK YOU LIZ! I LOVE YOU!

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Compliments

I have always had trouble accepting compliments. In my head, it is almost like I don't deserve them. Or, I don't believe the person. I am but, a humble person. And, as much as I love being the center of attention, it is the accepting of compliments that has always been hard for me. Those of you that know me off the computer... know what I mean. You know that I am not fishing for compliments, but am actually rather taken by surprise at the compliment being givien in my direction. It is something that I have always been aware of & am working on it.

I am in a unique situation where, I am getting them alot. I look completely different. I am learnnig to smile and say thank you & then tell the person what their words mean to me. This approach seems to be working. I am learning that I do deserve the compliments and kind words being given to me. I have always been a sincere, genuine, honest person. So, that part is natural. I appreciate everyone's kind words and compliments.

I thought I would share some of the more entertaining compliments I have received recently.

En route to New Jersey for my Grandpa's birthday party the begining of October, my father told me the following... We were leaving a rest stop on the turnpike & I was walking in front of my parents. My dad walked up to me and said, "Marla, your bum has gotten so much smaller that I can't really recognize you from the back anymore!"

At my Grandpa's birthday party, my aunt (Grandpa's sister) looked at me from across the table at the restaurant and said, "It is so nice to see that your neck has returned." I love that my aunt tells it like it is.

The following comments are from my myspace page in reaction to the following brand new picture



Friend from High School - "skinny ass'd ho :-P "

Friend from College - "omg i didn't recognize you you look great!!!!!!!!!!!! skinny minny! "

And last but not least, my buddy Jake - "Good thing the tits are still rocking." Jake, my dear I love you!

So not happy in my head...

I really just want to scream... a long deep primal scream like the ones Mr. Farrell wanted us to do at home after he had us read Primal Scream in my high school Art Major class. I need a way to release everything in my head and the things that seem to be weighing me down. It has been bringing me down the last 2 weeks.

My routine is back in place... exercise, protein, water, vitamins, time with friends, etc. However, I have not been getting enough sleep. I am sure it is because my head is not calm. I can't seem to figure out where I fit in. Things are weird at home. Obviously it is not just weird for me to be 26 and back living with my parents after being on my own in NYC, but it is weird for them too. For now, I need to be there. We have talked & I think they get it. We are all working on stuff. I have also told them I am not 12 year old Marla anymore & things are different. I have to take care of me first & they understand. So time will tell!

I am having trouble figuring out where I fit in. I don't feel or look MO or even really obese anymore... but according to the numbers I am still obese. My body is not the body of someone who weighs 241lbs. I know this is because of exercise...but, it isn't making it easier for me to figure out where I fit in. I am far from thin, however... It confuses me very much. Yes, I am heavy... however!

I think I have had it with dating in general. This is not what I signed up for. I am done. I just want to live my life and enjoy it. Most of my friends that are my age are in serious long term relationships. Some are engaged & a few are married & then a couple of the married ones have kids. I am very jealous. I know I am not ready for this today, but I find myself wondering when & if it will happen for me. Would I be married or engaged right now if I had just dealt with my arm stuff as it was happening and thus not created the habit of food instead of emotion. I will never know & I try not to wonder. But sometimes it makes me very sad. I know I am only 26... but I feel like I missed out on so much & feel like I will never catch up. I often times feel like is this it? Is this why I was sliced, diced, stapled and rerouted? It was almost easier being MO. I would never go back to that, however there is something to be said for the wall of fat & the invisibility. Now, I am visible but still sometimes feel like I am just watching.

Some of my friends/ married or not also have the feelings of is this it...although the reasons are different the feelings are still the same. Which is nice knowing that my friends and I can relate to each other, and that I am not the only one feeling the way I do. I am trying to follow my heart but lead with my head. I am tired of being torn between the two... I feel this way, but know this. I can't do that anymore... it is too draining. I am my own worst enemy and I did such a good of it. But, I am not like that anymore & I am trying to clean up the broken pieces.

This roller coaster ride often makes me wonder what is wrong with me. I have no desire to get off the ride... but wow I wasn't expecting all of this! All of my emotions are now all jumbled together... and I am sifting through them. I want to experience them & deal with them. But, just wow! I just sometimes feel so helpless, alone & like such a big fat loser. I want the little rain cloud to go away again.

Non-Scale Victory

I am now able to buy underwear and bras at VS. OMG, the best feeling ever! I feel like "one of them," a normal person. No one looked at me funny for being in there. It was like I belonged!!! The stuff is soooooo comfy. Never again will I buy intimate apparel @ Lane Bryant. I have entered into my love affair with VS. I need to sign up for their card. WOW, my bum fits into their panties! That doesn't seem possibly... but yet it is!

Monday, November 06, 2006

Sarah Silverman - Give the Jew Girl Toys

Santa doesn't bring this jew girl toys either!