Thursday, April 12, 2007

Will I ever reach my goal?

I feel so frustrated!!! I feel Like a big fat failure!!! WTF!!!!!

MOST of my surgery buddies have reached their goal weights and I am super duper happy for them. But, it makes me alittle sad that I still have so far to go. . I try to remind myself that I weighed 392 lbs pre - op and most of my friends were never that heavy and I can't compare myself to other WLS people - hell I can't comapre myslef to other people! I am me and I love me! But, I want to be me at goal!!!!

I want to be successful with my WLS!!! I think part of me thought I would get to my goal in one year - but loosing over 200 lbs in one year was/ is unrealistic. I lost 144lbs in my first post - op, that is amazing. Why is that not good enough? I know why I got fat in the first place and am working on my inner demons with my therapist - I am starting to feel whole again and like the Marla I was before igot sick and my grandmother died - I am becoming me again! Like coming home again! I am happy. I am just scared that I won't reach my goal. Will it ever happen for me. I am doing my aprt and working with my tool. There is always room for improvement . I have the power to make my dreams come true and I didn't have this surgery to be satisfied with where I am - I WILL REACH MY GOAL!!!!!!

1 comment:

Kaye Bailey said...

You are in charge of achieving your goal. And you will make it - I have tons of faith in you!