Getting Sliced on Tuesday January 3, 2006

All is a go!!! I didn't speak to my surgeon today as planned (he had an emergency surgery to perform). However, I spoke to the receptionist, who told me that he told her all is a go!!

Yipppeeee. I am so excited.

Surgery is scheduled for 11:30 am. Can't wait!!

I am SOON TO BE A FORMER FAT GIRL!!!

Random Marla Factoids

The Wizard of Oz is my all time favorite movie

Dusty Springfield's Son of a Preacher Man is my favorite song

I like reality tv - I love the Real World & American Idol

I watch or have watched: American Idol, The Simple Life, The OC, Laguna Beach, Made, Daisy Does America, as well as others.

I truly love watching the 24 hour marathon of A Christmas Story on Christmas Eve

I have been known to put ketchup on everything. It makes a great dip

I love Saturday Night Live - Molly Shannon was one of my fave cast members

I have seen the movie Back to the Beach 54 times

I saw Wayne's World 7 times when it came out in theaters

I had a crush on Ferris Bueller

I hate panty hose

I hate having my period

I failed my driver's license test the first time

At 25, I still don't like being in the basement of my parent's house at night by myself

I still sleep with my cabbage patch kid Anton

Every surgery I have had since I got Anton (I was four), he has been in the OR with me. When I have my Gastric Bypass he will come with me too.

I think Sean Connery is HOT

If I were married I would have an affair with Pierce Brosnan

Robert Redford is beautiful & Paul Newman has amazing eyes. We need to give Paul Newman's eyes to Robert Redford. That would be a beautiful man.

I actually like matzah

I hate gefilte fish & lox (smoked salmon)

I am still a virgin

I sleep naked

I had my first kiss @ 15 while at summer camp. The boy's name was Andy Becknal, and he was from Kentucky. He was adorable. We both had Doc Martens.

At one time my family had 9 guinea pigs. Lots of babies.

When I get a dog, I will name him Nigel

I admire my brother Ethan

I am envious of the fact that my brother is 6'4" and weighs 160 lbs.

I wear fur and love it. - Animals aren't just for food

I will buy a pair of Jimmy Choo's and Manolo's one day

I do not pick my nose

I love to drive

My favorite drink is Diet Coke with Malibu Rum and a lime - but I have given up diet soda and alcohol prior to Gastric Bypass

I have gone through Chemotherapy & Radiation

I had a wig but never wore it. I viewed wearing it as making people aroun d me comfortable and @ 10 years old going through chemo I didn't want to do that.

My arm was supposed to be amputated when I was 9.

I weigh 380 lbs & I am SOON TO BE A FORMER FAT GIRL

Things that make you go hmmm.

So my surgery is scheduled for Tuesday (5 days away). I am down 12 lbs. My surgeon wanted me to loose 20-25lbs. Since he has office hours tomorrow, that means I get to call him bright and early in the morning. They way I see it is this I can definitely loose 3 pounds by Tuesday. However if I am doing clear liquids for 48 hours prior to surgery and a bowel prep wouldn't that give me another 2 lbs at least??

Which would be about a 5 lbs and a net loss of 17 lbs. Hopefully, I am correct in my thinking! If not, my surgery will be in 2-3 weeks which isn't so bad. I am so close. I know that either way it will definitely be happening this month. I am SO excited. I truly can not wait to start my new life.

New motto that is getting me through:

If it was easy for me to loose weight, I wouldn't have considered having Gastric Bypass.

And my personal motto:

I am the strongest person I know!

Santa didn't bring this Jew Girl toys!

Hi my name is Marla. I am Jewish & NO I DO NOT GET A PRESENT FOR EACH OF THE 8 NIGHTS OF CHANUKAH!!! I truly enjoy Chanukah. Allow me to elaborate on some things:

- I do not have Christmas tree, have never had one, and will never have one.

- I don't have a Chanukah bush either. Will never have one.

- I did have my photo taken while on Santa's lap. I was about six. I was in Boston with my dad. I had to go to the hospital to have a bone scan of my arm. They inject with you with dye so that your insides show up in different colors on a monitor. Unfortunately, you need to wait about an hour or 2 from injection till scan so the dye can travel through your veins. Well, I had/ have really bad veins. Long story short, I was held down by 2 nurses so that they could use a vein at the bottom of my foot. Horrible pain. They aren't allowed to use the bottom of feet anymore. Well after my dad and I had time to kill so we went to Filene's in Downtown Crossing. I think my dad felt really bad that I was in so much pain and traumatized, that he let me have my picture taken with Santa. Was fun though!!

- While growing up, my family did Chanukah gift giving in one night. My father owned (has since retired) a retail bike store. As, he couldn't be home each night of Chanukah we did gifts all in one night. No, we did not each get 8 gifts. Birthdays are a bigger deal in my family.

- I have a Menorah. I truly enjoy lighting the candles. NO, my parents do not let my brother and I make a wish & blow out the candles.

- Chanukah Harry does not exist. He does not bring good Jewish boys and girls presents. YOUR PARENTS GIVE YOU PRESENTS FOR CHANUKAH! He exists only in a Saturday Night Live skit. Which was hilarious by the way! And no, contrary to popular belief Chanukah Harry is not dating the Easter Bunny or the Tooth Fairy!!

Chanukah was good to me this year.

List of Presents:

Parents- A really cool hair thing with rhinestones and a great black beaded bracelet.

Ethan (brother) - Urban Outfitters Room Spray (Honeysuckleish) and a rose bath bomb, complete with petals.

Molly - World Poker Tour Plug & Play Texas Hold'em, a journal, and a coloring book (of the movie Madagascar) & crayons to bring with me to the hospital.

Sarah - Black clutch purse (shockingly I didn't have one) & Shalom gum!!

Ali - heroes of the Torah (the set of 4) drinking glasses!

Kelly - Monkey alarm clock (yes it makes monkey noises), a handmade necklace, a handmade purse, a t-shirt, and lotion from her parents. It smells like buttercream frosting. So good.

Nan- A truly awesome bracelet!

And I still have to exchange gifts with some NY friends as I was in Boston for the Holidays. Fun Fun!! I have done very well so far though!!

MARLA'S RANTS ON THE NYC TRANSIT STRIKE 0F 2005!

Oh my F ' ing gawd! For my readers who don't know: I was living and working in Manhattan. I was laid off in October due to lack of work. Not a big deal, because the company is paying my health insurance through the end of March 2006. I from Boston, so I have been traveling back and forth between my place in Manhattan and my parent's house. I am in the slow process of moving back home after my surgery.

Well, as I had pre-admission testing on Tuesday at my hospital in NYC I was there for the start of the transit strike. I arrived back in NYC Monday afternoon hoping that the strike would not occur. I stayed up till midnight to find out that the transit workers were going on strike at 3 am!!

I will now explain my dealings with the ramifications of the strike on tuesday & wednesday, then I will rant!

Tuesday I had to be at the hospital at 7:30 am. I woke up at 5:30 am not knowing what to expect with the strike. I left my building at 6:30 am to attempt to get a cab. By 6:40 I was in a cab, and learning about the modified fare changes. Well, long story short this is what I learned:

To travel below 96th street (between 5am and 11 am) all cars and cabs need four people. The driver of the cab counts as one of the four.

When you enter a cab you are charged a flat $10 to travel within that zone. When and if you cross into another zone it is $5. So if you travel within three zones it is $20.


Okay no big deal I was happy to get a cab. It cost me $20 to get the hospital. Normally it is $12 and change prior to the tip. Well all the cabs are stopping and picking up additional passengers to follow that 4 person rule. Still not a big deal. By 7 am I was at the hospital. The ride takes about 20 minutes.

I left the hospital at 10:30, got a cab right away although traffic was horrid. I didn't get home till 2 hours later. My hospital is above 96 street. And when I enter the cab there are already 2 other passengers. The cab couldn't go below 96 street as it was before 11am without 3 passengers. The girl got into the cab at 9 am. The male passenger got into the cab at 10 am and I got into the cab at 10:30. Thank gawd we were all going below 96 street. At one point it took 30 minutes to go from 114 street to 110 street. Only 4 blocks!! No wonder it took that cab 2 hours to get me back to my place. OY VEY!!!!

Yesterday (wednesday) I was coming back to Boston on Greyhound. Such the drama. Fortunately I was smart enough to take the 7am bus instead of the 8am bus I normally take. I got up at 4:30 am, left my building at 5:30 am. Went to the ATM on the corner, was able to get a cab right away. Got to Port Authority without issue. The bus leaves at 7am.... normally the start of rush hour. We take the Lincoln tunnel in to jersey instead of driving uptown. We never would have gotten out of Manhattan. Once out of the tunnel, we hop on the garden state and drive towards the GW bridge, to get into the Bronx because that is how you go on 95. Gawd, it took 2 hours. One hour of which was waiting to get to and over the bridge. N ormally the whole thing would take 40 minutes.

Well I made it to Boston in one exhausted piece. The strike better be over when I go back to NYC on Wednesday.

7 miliion people without mass transit. In the middles of winter, so very very wrong. The strike is illegal under the Taylor law and they union broke the court ordered indjuction not to strike. Silly people, management and employees will all be fined, some employees will be fired and some management will go to jail. Silly people.

Drivers in NYC are dumb. They honk during gridlock even when the light is red. They block the intersections just because the have a green light.

I am done ranting. Hopefully it will be over soon. I think the union and mta are resuming talks today about getting the workers back to work and resuming contract negotiations. Thank gawd!

I am a loser!

I lost 4 lbs!!!! WAHOOO! Ok, so here is the deal. I am down about 9-10 out of the 20-25 lbs that my surgeon wants me to loose. They haven't told me that they need to reschedule the surgery again. Thank gawd!! Anyways, I am going next week to get weighed as my surgery is planned for Tuesday January 3. I am shootoing for an 8 lb loss this week. I just nee to keep busting my ass and everything will work out. I am getting soooo excited!!

Back in the land of Blog!!

So I took a break from my blog for a bit. That can be viewed as a good thing or a bad thing. I have gotten over my surgery being rescheduled. It really isn't that big of a deal. I have waited this long. I might as well wait a bit longer if it decreases my risk. All in all I am going to have this done. My feeling is if I could loose any amount of weight easily, I wouldn't have even considered gastric bypass. I just can't believe I have stayed the same weight for about 3 months.

Atleast I didn't gain weight. I was able to stop rapidly gaining. So that is an indirectly a plus. Once, I have the surgery it won't matter that my surgery date was originally postponed. All that will matter is that I will have had it done.

I go on Tuesday for another fun filled day of pre-admission testing. Gotta love peeing in a cup and getting blood drawn. Such a pain in my large ass. I have no veins. You can't draw blood from my right arm and to make it even better I had chemotherapy when I was 9 and my veins are basically shot now from it. OH, and I hate needles. I would rather pee in a cup every single day for the rest of my life, then get blood drawn. So, far no medical professional has accepted that offer.

Last time I went to pre- admission testing I got a 95% on my test. On Tuesday I will get a 100% because I now know the correct answer. Too bad that don't let you keep the test, I want to put it on my parent's refridgerator! I am such a baby with stuff like that. I will 26 in Feb. and I want to put my test on the fridge! Oh well!

I just hope I have lost some weight or they will postpone my surgery again. OY VEY!!! Wish me luck & please send me loose weight happy vibes!! :) I am going to bed and dream about the weight loss fairy!

Rescheduled Surgery For Moi

So my surgery has been rescheduled. Tuesday January 3, 2006 is the new day. I went for pre-admission/ pre-op testing last Tuesday. I haven't lost enough weight. So that is why my surgery is being postponed. All is good though. it really isn't a big deal. In the words of Emril, it's time to kick it up a notch.

F ' ing Pissed

So I went to the hospital today for all my pre-admission pre-op testing. So much to do. There was a refresher with the nurese practioner and the nutrtionist. In addition, there was weigh-in, bloodwork, anesthia talk, meet with a nurse, ekg and a chest xray. Oh, yeah we had a to tke a test. I scored a 95 out of 100. KICKASS!!

However, did I loose 20 lbs. Nope!!! I stayed the same. I have stayed the same for 2 months. Don't get me wrong, this is good. This is far better then gaining. But, now I don't know if they will postpone my surgery. I started crying when I saw the scale. I spoke to the nutrtionist. She is going to talk to my surgeon. Gawd, what am I gonna do. I can't loose 20 lbs in 13 days. I feel completely f 'cked. I feel like crying again. Please keep youir fingers crossed for me!! i want this more than anything. I just hope it works out. I have worked to hard for this. I am not giving up!!!

The good news, I don't feel like eating. That is a total positive. 6 months ago, I would've eaten over this. But, I have come to far to revert to old behavior.

My Theme Song

Everyone needs a theme song. This is mine.

Who can turn the world on with her smile?
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Well it's you girl, and you should know it
With each glance and every little movement you show it

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don't you take it
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after all

How will you make it on your own?
This world is awfully big, girl this time you're all alone
But it's time you started living
It's time you let someone else do some giving

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don't you take it
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after al

Artist: ("Love is All Around" by Paul Williams) Lyrics
Song: Mary Tyler Moore Show Lyrics

Emotional Basketcase

So I have completely lost it. Those of you that know me are questioning if I had to begin with. However, I really lost it now. I have become an emotional wreck. I am totally excited about my upcoming surgery. But, in addition to being excited I am also experiencing every possible emotion.

I am scared, nervous, sad, excited, happy, optimistic, etc. I know I will be fine. I have had surgery before, so that doesn’t scare me. I have been through chemo & radiation. I feel that there is nothing worse than chemo. (That is my personal motto.) I was so sick. Toxins were being pumped into my body. Gastric Bypass is a personal choice. It was not forced upon me in any
way. Therefore, it is already set up to be more positive than chemo.

I am scared because I have been heavy for so long, will I be able to be thinner marla? How does one be a thin person? Will I still be me? I guess I will learn as time goes by. It just seems alittle scary. But, I know I will be successful. I have always loved a good challenge. And, I am always successful with challenging things. It just feels so overwhelming. Time to go make Crystal Light Lemonade. Life is better when drinking lemonade.

Quotes that get me through:

“nothing is worse than chemo.” Personal motto

“… forget regret or life is yours to miss. No other road no other way no day but today.” –Cast of Rent

“…and nobody in all of oz, no wizard that there is or was is ever gonna bring me down.”
Idina Menzel as Elphaba in Wicked

Survived Thanksgiving

I survived Thanksgiving. I tried to plan my portions in advance and tried to pretend I had already had my surgery. I did much better then Thanksgivings of the past. I feel better prepared for next year.

I had my mom make Kaye’s recipe for pumpkin & apple soup. My mom & I love pumpkin. So we have had pumpkin soup numerous times before. This was a great variation / addition to our Thanksgiving. Also, my mom makes a killer pumpin butterscotch cake. Well, this year I had her make it with splenda. Not perfect, but a step in the right direction. Next, year I will do Kaye’s pumpkin pie.

Oh, I didn’t eat all the stuffing this year. I am a sucker for my mom’s stuffing. She does whole wheat bread & mushrooms. But, I was careful this year. Which feels quite great.

I have all my pre-op stuff @ the hospital on Tuesday. I am starting to get nervous. Almost @ the 2 week point. Oy Vey!!! I think am only nervous about losing the 20 lbs. I feel it looming over my head. I do my best, but is that every really good enough? Sometimes yes, gawd I want this so bad. I don’t want the staff to tell me, “Oh sorry you didn’t loose the 20lbs, We are gonna have to reschedule you surgery.” I would die. That would be the worst. I want this more then anything. I am so close, I can smell it. I enjoy that expression. Gawd, just let this happen for me!

Things I can't wait to do post surgery

Go up a flight of stairs without getting out of breathe

Fit into 1 seat on the bus, train, subway, airplane

Not need a seat belt extender in an airplane

Ride comfortably and safely in a back seat of car

Ride my bike

Learn to surf & water ski

Be able to sit in a plastic chair

Easily get up from a couch or chair

Fit in a bathtub

Fit in a regular toilet stall

Stop snoring

Sit on the ground and get up easily and without issue

Looking Back On The Last 6 Months

I am now officially 3 weeks away from my surgery date. Idecided to use this post to look back and reflect on some things from the last 6 months.

As much as I want gastric bypass, it didn't seem like I would ever get to this point. I have a surgery date that is fast approaching. My insurance company approved my having the surgery. The only thing looming over my head is loosing the damn 20lbs. that my surgeon told me to loose. At least the protein powders I am using for my pre-surgery diet are good.

Anyways, so back to reflecting. So many interesting things have happened during this journey. For example, a very entertaing nurse practitioner (see post 8.20.05) Don't get me wrong, she is very nice and a wonderful person. She takes her job very seriously. But, that day was one for the books.

Then there was the day I had to have my exercise stress test. OHMYGAWD did this suck. I totally though I was going to die. Sidenote: I went through chemo and radiation when I was 9. Because, of this my personal motto is: NOTHING IS WORSE THEN CHEMO. I have been proved wrong. My medicine induced exercise stress test was sooooo much worse.

As a girl well over 350lbs, I obvioulsy have major problems walking. So, when I went for the test I was given the choice of going on treadmil or have my heart rate induced with medicine while laying in a bed. I am sorry, but that was this fat girl's dream. Of course I chose to lay in the bed. BIG MISTAKE. Never take medicine to induce a natural state. OHMYGAWD. IT WAS BLOODY HORRIBLE. I even threw up. Oh yes, not pretty. But, all that is behind me.

The support group I go to is semi irritating because only 1-2 peolpe out of the 30 that go regularly have actually had WLS. All the others are either people waiting for their surgery date. Or the are just looking into having the surgery. Believe I think Attending a meeting while going through all the tests is very important. But, come on pre-ops want to talk to post-ops. I though this was common sense folks.

SHAMELESS PLUG FOR PROTEIN POWDER

UNJURY protein powder in AMAZING. It can be ordered from the company website. The chocolate is amazing. Put in the blender with milk and Ice! Also, they make a strawberry powder that is specifically for use with water. Mix it with Lemonade Crystal Light. Soooo fabulous!

UNJURY Protein

Nectar is also good. The whole line is fruity flavors that are to be mixed with water. Dissolves very well. I recommed the Fuzzy Navel Flavor. For the adventurous, try mixing it in Raspberry Ice Crystal Ice. YUMMILICIOUS! You can order this line from The Vitamin Shoppe.

The Vitamin Shoppe

Time to do my 3 weeks till surgery happy dance.

8.20.05

This is my first and only page in the journal I started when I decided to start looking into gastric bypass surgery.

So on Aug. 11, I had my “consult” with the surgeon. Well, I actually met with the nurse practioner. So, I found out I have to go for a bunch of tests. But, that is fine. I need to have an abdominal ultrasound, exercise stress test, blood work, nutritional consult, have a psych evaluation, attend 2 support group meetings, and attend an orientation session. The good news is that my therapist is going to do my psych evaluation. Yippee!! Anyways, I have to have all the above done before I meet with the surgeon Sept. 21. Wow. The orientation is Sept. 7. Hopefully, I will have my stress test and ultrasound that day too. Also, I will do my blood work that day too.

I have begun my journey. It is alittle hard to believe. I have appointments. This is really happening.

The Background Info

I wouldn't say I was always morbidly obese. I was a chubby kid. At approximately age 12 I was 140 lbs. I think I was approximately 50 lbs overweight. Thus began my debcle with weight.

I did Weight Watchers. And let me tell you it was not the point system that it is today. It was quite different. I went to weight loss camp for 6 years. Camp Kingsmont was actually a great place. However, they allowed skinny kids to go there to and they were vicious and made fun of the heavier kids. Which is quite ironic as it was WEIGHT LOSS CAMP!! Oh well, I was deffintely the Fat Camp Champ. Camp Kingsmont is now located at Hampshire College. (When I was a camper it was in West Stockbridge, MA on 220 acres of land with cabins.)

My last summer st Kingsmont was 1996. I was 16 that September was going to be a junior in high school. High scool it hard enough reagrdless of your size. But, I have fond memories of high school. I went to both my proms, was active in some clubs, and had/ have a kick ass group of friends. The latter of which I feel is the most important. And, I am quite fortunate that I am still friends with most of these amazing people.

Went off to college in the fall of 1998 and actually started to loose a bit of weight. I did wind up having breast reduction, because I couldn't deal with the size of my chest anymore, I was 300 lbs and a 44 G. Not fun, trust me. Transferred schools for fall of 2000. I must say that between the 2 colleges I attended, I blossomed. College was good for me. And, I did well.


I graduated with my BFA in visual arts, got a job in NYC, was laid off due to lack of work, and now I am eagerly awaiting my gastric bypass surgey and the start of the next phase of my life.

Camp Kingsmont

Rambling...

So I am slightly past the one month point for my upcoming surgery date. On December 12, 2005 I will be undergoing gastric bypass. I am eagerly awaiting this huge (no pun intedend) milestone. I truly can not wait. At 387 lbs, who wouldn't be excited. My life is going to change for the better.

I go for all the pre-op stuff in a little over a week. I started this journey in May 2005. Knowing that I had a fairly long road ahead of me. But now that I am a little over 3 weeks away it just seems unfathomable. How did I get to this point so fast. It just hits me like a ton of bricks sometimes. I feel like an emottional wreck, but I think that is pretty normal. And in hindsight, I kind of always was. So this really is nothing new.

Say tuned for the next post where I give you the background info you need on this soon to be former fat girl.