I am still obese... sweet!

I decided to find a BMI (Body Mass Index) Calulator and see where I stood. Wait a tick... I am standing right here.

So, of course I have to compare FAT GIRL to FORMER FAT GIRL. Here are the results...

FAT GIRL - Former Marla

5' 3"
392lbs
BMI - 69.4 (uber/ super Morbidly obese)

FORMER FAT GIRL - Marla

5' 3"
236lbs
BMI - 41.8 (Obese)

No more uber in my BMI classification. Sooo sad. I am still uber! Will always be uber! Just with a lower BMI. Marla is uber-ific! I have gone from wicked super duper fat to PHAT. Kickass! 106 lbs left to loose. Bring it on. I am so gonna get to goal. I rock!

What's in a Name...

"O! be some other name: What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet" ~William Shakespeare (Romeo & Juliet)

So, I have come to realize just how many nicknames I really have. My parents weren't into names that had built in variations - ie Michael (Mike). Marla is unique. And it suits me. Even with my middle name Erin. It works. I never really had nicknames growing up. The occasional Mar, but that was about it.

So I was thinking about all my nicknames the other day. I think it is great! I feel so loved that lots of different people have bestowed so many nicknames upon me.

Family nicknames... Marla Muffin, Marla herring (Thanks Grandpa), Bunny, Bubelah, Shanya Punim (pretty face), and of course - MIGGLAH! Ethan started calling me Migglah while I was in college. It stuck! It was originally spelled Miglah. I added the second g as a little silent tribute to Grandma Gladys. Cause she is always with me!

In some circles of friends I am... M - Dizzle 2 (Molly is M - Dizzle 1), M - Dawg, Mar, MarMar, Marlsie, Mo, Marla Mo, Mo Money, Thing 2 (Molly & Lucinda are both respectively Thing 1), Lovie, Sweetness, Sweet Cheecks, Schmoushie, Migglah


Within The Navel Orange Club (my local WLS girls) I am... Baby Orange or Princess Baby Orange


In The Neighborhood on LivingAfterWLS I am... Baby Goddess, Baby Girl, Marlotta, Chickie, Twinlet, Little One, MissMarla, Thing 2, Miss Fancy Panties


Camp Kingsmont Summer 1992... I inherited a nickname that I can't shake and I am rather proud of it actually. Every once in awhile it resurfaces for just the shear joy it brings. It was the start of the night time activity - All camp capture the flag..; boy vs. girls!

Well my friends and I were forming our plan on the main road. They were planning on going through the woods up to boys hill! I was gonna place myself where the main road and the rock/dirt road intersected. Off we went. At the last minute, I wanted to go into the woods too. And took off running to catch up with my friends. I tripped and fell and skidded accross and over the rocks. I sliced my legs good. i was more concerned with my bad arm. It was fine as I had been wearing my windbreaker!

My legs were gushing blood, so my counselor Steph took me to the infermary. Norma was concerned about my arm and deemed it fine but wanted me to ice it. Then she was about to let me go when i remembered I was gushing blood From my legs. She hadn't seen it! Well, that was fun. My fav. guy counselor Guffy was there too. He took one look at my legs and said, "Felldown what were you thinking." And it stuck... I am still called Felldown.

See Guffy knew my last name & well Felldown works. Marla Felldown. Trust me. Those of you that know my last name will agree. I was Marla Felldown or Fell down for 4 summers and Mom still says it to me sometimes! I love being me - Migglah Felldown!

December 10, 2005

My surgery R-n-Y weight loss surgery was originally was supposed to be 12.12.05. My NY friends and I planned my last hoorah for 12.10.05. Since my sugery date was changed to 1.3.05 - we still had my last hoorah on 12.10.2005!

I posted about the last hoorah on my first blog - Migglah's World... for awhile I had that blog and this. Then I canned that blog and focused on this one.

I wanted to repost the pictures from my last hoorah, here. I also want to honor my NY friends who were there to celebrate with me. Thank you to all of you for your support and love. Y'all were in NY with me when I made my mind up to have the surgery and started going through the process. It wasn't easy for me to be so far away from my family while I was doing all my tests and things as a pre-op. You guys were there. Physically there. And for that I will always be grateful.

I don't know where I would be without my family and friends. All of you are amazing and mean the world to me. Thank you!

And now... pics of the party last year! We went to Lips (Drag restaurant) in the village (NYC). Getting felt up by a drag queen is always fun! My friends and I spent lost of time and money here! And we drank alot too!

We ate and drank. I had the rack of lamb & a 24 oz frozen cosmo and 2 shots. I don't remember what shots Erin and I did. Maybe it as mind erasers. A good time as had by all!

December 12, 2005

Hmmmm... so if my surgery date hadn't been postponed, today would be my surgiversary. Very weird. At times, I feel like my surgery was soooo long ago and at other times it feels so recent. It doesn't feel like it has been almost a year. So much has happened & I have grown and changed a great deal too.

And, of course I look & feel completely different. I have been in a weird palce... happy though (Maybe i should focus on taking my meds). I haven't lost as much as I wanted to this year... but I can't complain with 144lb loss since 1.3.06 and 156 lb loss from my heaviest weight. I weigh 236 lbs. This time one year ago I weighed 383 lbs. I have lost a person. WOW!

I am not beating myself up... Of course, I wanted to loose more... who wouldn't? But, I am doing so well! I just have to remind myself sometimes. This was the best thing I ever did for myself. I gave myself the gift of life! If, I hadn't done this - I would easily be 500 lbs is not more and my knees would have probably blown out by known. This is probably the happy version... it would be bad! But, it isn't. I am taking care of myself & I know I deserve it!

I still have a more to loose and I will. I will get to my goal. I am succesful so far with my WLS (weight loss surgery). I will keep being successful! My gallbladder issues were a bigger setback then I first thought. But, that is not an excuse and I am moving forward and getting back to where I was.

I am still on target to be 200 lbs even for my birthday on February 17. That would be amazing (180 lbs lost in one year and 6 weeks). I think I can I think I can! I am trying not to focus on numbers and just do what I need to do and focus on how I feel.

I take it day by day & I am living! In time.

I will get to where I want to be. Cause, I have the power to make my dreams come true. I want it, therefore, I am making it happen!

Dixie Chicks - Wide Open Spaces

I can't stop playing this video. I even play the song constantly in my car. Hmmmm... new theme song? Nah, Love is all around - will always be my theme song!

Today I am 11 months post op! : D

December 10, 2005 - WOW!

December 3, 2006 - 11 months post op

Current Weight - 236lbs
Surgery Weight - 380lbs
Heaviest Weight - 392 lbs

144 lbs lost since surgery on January 3, 2006

156 lbs lost from my heaviest weight

Current Sizes:

Pants - 20 (almost an 18)
Shirts - 12
Bra - 38 D @ Victoria's Secret
Panties - XL @ Victoria's Secret (their hiphugger panties are the best!)

How am I here? How did 11 months go by so fast. I am reminded of a line in a song from The Muppets Take Manhattan... "Days go passing into years, years go passing day by day!" Although, I feel like the past 11 months have flown by, I also feel like I had my R-n-Y sooo long ago. I find myself accidentally telling people my surgery date as January 3, 2005, instead of the correct date January 3, 2006.

I have done a great deal of changing over the last 11 months. And, I know I will still change - everyday. I am still Marla, and certain things about me will never change. However, other things have & will. I am a better Marla. I am a improved Marla. I have grown & matured ove the past 11 months. I am shedding not just pounds, but my baggage that I have clung to for so long.

I felt that I wasn't going to change after surgery. I was wrong. Whether you want to or not, you do change with weight loss surgery. There aren't just the obvious physical changes, but mental & emotional changes as well. It is a mind boggling, amazing, overwhelming roller coaster ride, that I don't want to get off of. It is truly the best thing I ever did for myself. I gave myself the gift of life!

I have blosssomed & matured over the past 11 months as well. I am an adult. I am becoming who I was meant to be. I am getting back to the Marla I was before my grandma died. I remember that Marla. But, I wasn't ready to be me... at that age. I am a strong, talented, funny, intelligent, beautiful, caring, loyal, honest, upbeat woman. I was too strong for my own good. I couldn't handle all my gifts and strengths & add to that my insecurity, let's just say it was easier to believe the people telling me I was a loser... but I am not! I am amazing! I am a ball of energy and spunk!

If I hadn't experienced what I did in my past, I might not be the person I am right now. And, I love the Marla I am today and the one I will be in the future because I am in control. Everything we experience good and bad helps to make us who we are. I got lucky, and turned things around... but, I love me & if given the oppurtuinty to relive my life. I would live my life exactly the same way- just becasue I love who I am now. And I wouldn't want to be different.

I am in it to win it. I have my eyes on the prize. I have the power to make all my dreams come true. If I want it, I can make it happen!

Happy 11 months post-op to me!

October & November 2005 - Revisted

Wow, sorry I haven't posted in awhile. Lots seems to have been gonig on. And of course, I am slowly approaching my surgiversary, which is mind blowing enough on it's own.I have spent this fall doing alot of thinking and revisting the same time the previous year. I can't believe how much I have changed, gwon and matured this year... well and loosing 144lbs of extra insulation. I crapped a person. But, that is a special post I am saving for this week.

Let's see where was I October 2005...

I was living & working in Manhattan. I was laid off from my job due to lack of work on or around October 12. I stayed in Manhattan and split my time between home and NYC. And collected unemployment benefits! The company I had worked for knew about my surgery and supported it. They felt bad about laying me off... So, they continued paying my health insurance through February 1, 2006. I was sooo lucky! Since HIP - my NY insurance - approved my surgery there was no point in moving back home till after surgery.

My dad retired. He owned a retail bike store that his father had started I believe in the 1940's. Dad liquadated the merchadise and sold the building and the land. Since mom worked at the store with dad, both my parents were no retired.

My surgery was scheduled for December 12, 2005!


Now - November 2005

I still wasn't loosing enough weight to have my weight loss surgery. Dr. McGinty wanted me to loose 20 - 25 lbs. I weight was plateauing. I had been on a high protein diet since the summer. Protein shake for breakfast & lunch... dinner 6 oz. protein 2 starch and 2 vegatables. My weight wasn't budging... I was done 9lbs from August '05

November 18, 2005 - The birth of SOON TO BE A FORMER FAT GIRL. I started my blog. Craziness. Then after my surgery I changed the name to FORMER FAT GIRL - my baby!

November 29, 2005 - The tuesday after Thanksging I had pre-op testing at the hospital as my sugery was scheduled for 2 weeks later - Decmber 12 2005. I got weighed and lost 1 pound.. not enough.

November 30, 2005 - Found out my surgery was being postponed to January 3, 2006 as 9 lbs wasn't enough of a loss. I lost it. I cryed, and cryed, and cryed. I was a mess. Then I decided to bust my ass over the following month & have my surgery. I did... When I went again after christmas for pre-op testing... I had lost 3 more lbs & Dr. McGinty felt fine with me having a lost a total of 12 lbs. I was so excited. I couldn't wait. January 3, 2006 wasn't coming fast enough.

Mary Tyler Moore Megamix - DanoramaProductions.com

I love Mary Tyler Moore. MTM is awesome! The Mary Tyler Moore Show is one of my all time faves. Her theme song is my theme song!

Happy Thanksgiving - Marla Style

This has been my turkey day ecard for the last couple of years. I thought I would post it for my readers...

I HOPE Y'ALL HAVE A FANTABULOUS THANKSGIVING

Comments?

Just wanted to let y'all know that it was brought to my attention, that there were some issues with people leaving comments on Former Fat Girl. The issue being that readers couldn't leave comments. I changed my comment settings so that now ANYONE can leave a comment. You no longer need to be a blogger member. Enjoy!!

Touch-a, touch-a, touch me (The Rocky Horror Picture Show)

This is my favorite song from the Rocky Horror Picture Show!

The Rocky Horror Picture Show

Marla = Janet Weiss

10 months post op

So November 3 2006, marked my being a post-op for 10 months. So crazy. One week from today marks the 1 yr anniversary of my blog. November 11, 2005 - I weighed 387 lbs. Today - November 11, 2006 - I weigh in at 236lbs.

Current sizes:
Pants = 20
Shirts = 12 or 14
Bust = 38 D

November 11, 2005
Pants = 32
Shirts = 26/28
Bust = 44 C

Compliments # 2 aka I love Liz!

Liz deserves her very own post!

So, I have this friend named Liz. Gawd.. I think I have known her since I was two. Oh, we have only been friends for about 24 years! We grew up together on the same street. Our parents are friends & she is one of my oldest and dearest friends. It is hard to remember life before Liz and I were friends. Hmmm, kinda like how I feel about Molly! I was like Liz's little sidekick while we were growing up as she is two years older then me.

If I had to pick someone who was like my older sister while I was a kid it would be a tie between Liz & Jodi! I don't know if I ever told this to Liz, but I have always felt she was one of the coolest people I know. When I was younger, I felt so cool that she was my friend. Well, we grew up, became adults & are still friends. We are very similar but yet very different. We just get each other. Liz, I love you. I can't imagine not being friends with you. You were there for everything, thanks!

Now, the mushiness ends and the gloves come off. Liz, has always kept me in check and would tell it to me like it is. Our persoanlities are very similar. And we don't take crap from each other! Watchout though, cause when Liz kicks, she kicks hard. Yes, I love her for it! : D

Liz emailed the following to me this morning in regards to my photo that is in the previous post... enjoy!

"MARLA -
I can not believe you… I just looked at your blog. I don't care if you don't like compliments… you are getting them here and NOW! YOU LOOK UN F&*KING BELIEVABLE…. You are SOOO skinny… and I agree with everyone… I wouldn't NOT recognize you from behind… welcome back neck and great bosoms ;)

xoxoxoxoxoxxoxoxo"

THANK YOU LIZ! I LOVE YOU!

Compliments

I have always had trouble accepting compliments. In my head, it is almost like I don't deserve them. Or, I don't believe the person. I am but, a humble person. And, as much as I love being the center of attention, it is the accepting of compliments that has always been hard for me. Those of you that know me off the computer... know what I mean. You know that I am not fishing for compliments, but am actually rather taken by surprise at the compliment being givien in my direction. It is something that I have always been aware of & am working on it.

I am in a unique situation where, I am getting them alot. I look completely different. I am learnnig to smile and say thank you & then tell the person what their words mean to me. This approach seems to be working. I am learning that I do deserve the compliments and kind words being given to me. I have always been a sincere, genuine, honest person. So, that part is natural. I appreciate everyone's kind words and compliments.

I thought I would share some of the more entertaining compliments I have received recently.

En route to New Jersey for my Grandpa's birthday party the begining of October, my father told me the following... We were leaving a rest stop on the turnpike & I was walking in front of my parents. My dad walked up to me and said, "Marla, your bum has gotten so much smaller that I can't really recognize you from the back anymore!"

At my Grandpa's birthday party, my aunt (Grandpa's sister) looked at me from across the table at the restaurant and said, "It is so nice to see that your neck has returned." I love that my aunt tells it like it is.

The following comments are from my myspace page in reaction to the following brand new picture



Friend from High School - "skinny ass'd ho :-P "

Friend from College - "omg i didn't recognize you you look great!!!!!!!!!!!! skinny minny! "

And last but not least, my buddy Jake - "Good thing the tits are still rocking." Jake, my dear I love you!

So not happy in my head...

I really just want to scream... a long deep primal scream like the ones Mr. Farrell wanted us to do at home after he had us read Primal Scream in my high school Art Major class. I need a way to release everything in my head and the things that seem to be weighing me down. It has been bringing me down the last 2 weeks.

My routine is back in place... exercise, protein, water, vitamins, time with friends, etc. However, I have not been getting enough sleep. I am sure it is because my head is not calm. I can't seem to figure out where I fit in. Things are weird at home. Obviously it is not just weird for me to be 26 and back living with my parents after being on my own in NYC, but it is weird for them too. For now, I need to be there. We have talked & I think they get it. We are all working on stuff. I have also told them I am not 12 year old Marla anymore & things are different. I have to take care of me first & they understand. So time will tell!

I am having trouble figuring out where I fit in. I don't feel or look MO or even really obese anymore... but according to the numbers I am still obese. My body is not the body of someone who weighs 241lbs. I know this is because of exercise...but, it isn't making it easier for me to figure out where I fit in. I am far from thin, however... It confuses me very much. Yes, I am heavy... however!

I think I have had it with dating in general. This is not what I signed up for. I am done. I just want to live my life and enjoy it. Most of my friends that are my age are in serious long term relationships. Some are engaged & a few are married & then a couple of the married ones have kids. I am very jealous. I know I am not ready for this today, but I find myself wondering when & if it will happen for me. Would I be married or engaged right now if I had just dealt with my arm stuff as it was happening and thus not created the habit of food instead of emotion. I will never know & I try not to wonder. But sometimes it makes me very sad. I know I am only 26... but I feel like I missed out on so much & feel like I will never catch up. I often times feel like is this it? Is this why I was sliced, diced, stapled and rerouted? It was almost easier being MO. I would never go back to that, however there is something to be said for the wall of fat & the invisibility. Now, I am visible but still sometimes feel like I am just watching.

Some of my friends/ married or not also have the feelings of is this it...although the reasons are different the feelings are still the same. Which is nice knowing that my friends and I can relate to each other, and that I am not the only one feeling the way I do. I am trying to follow my heart but lead with my head. I am tired of being torn between the two... I feel this way, but know this. I can't do that anymore... it is too draining. I am my own worst enemy and I did such a good of it. But, I am not like that anymore & I am trying to clean up the broken pieces.

This roller coaster ride often makes me wonder what is wrong with me. I have no desire to get off the ride... but wow I wasn't expecting all of this! All of my emotions are now all jumbled together... and I am sifting through them. I want to experience them & deal with them. But, just wow! I just sometimes feel so helpless, alone & like such a big fat loser. I want the little rain cloud to go away again.

Non-Scale Victory

I am now able to buy underwear and bras at VS. OMG, the best feeling ever! I feel like "one of them," a normal person. No one looked at me funny for being in there. It was like I belonged!!! The stuff is soooooo comfy. Never again will I buy intimate apparel @ Lane Bryant. I have entered into my love affair with VS. I need to sign up for their card. WOW, my bum fits into their panties! That doesn't seem possibly... but yet it is!

Sarah Silverman - Give the Jew Girl Toys

Santa doesn't bring this jew girl toys either!

Engagement Party Pics

Erin & Louie's Engagement Party 10.21.06 Peppercorn's Hicksville, New York


Alana & Tom


Alana & I


85% of the bridal party


The SUNY Purchase girls. Erin, Alana, & I


Louie, Tom, Ally, Me, Erin


Cassandra (Erin's baby sister)


John & I


Louie & I


Melissa (Erin's other sister), Me, Cassandra


Erin & I (what was I looking at)


Erin & I


The Cake - The filling was half chocolate pudding & half cannoli filling


Tom & I


The Groomsmen

October 24, 1992

Today is the 14th anniversary of my bat-mitzvah. Wowie Zowie.

My theme for my party was amusement parks. It was the best party ever. I loved the balloon arch. I think my friends & I inhaled a great deal of helium that night. There was a fortune teller and balloon artist for the cocktail hour. My parents got a band. It was just amazing. Maybe I wll post some pictures later!

The dress that I wore to temple was purple. The dress for my party was purple. I want to fit into these dresses again someday. I was 12.5 years old. 5 feet tall & 140 lbs. I am now 5'3 and my goal weight is 130 lbs... so it could happen!

I was in 7th grade at The Middle School. Jeremy was my boyfriend. We were together for a year and half. I loved The Grateful Dead (I guess some things don't change.) Molly was/ still is my bestest buddy. Suzanne and I shared a passion for white rubber mice named harry and a love of The Beatles. I wanted to be an animator for Disney, doing backgrounds and special effects animation. This is still my dream.

I guess time flies, but not everything changes. I used to fear change. I wanted everything to stay the same. Well, fortunately I enjoy change now. It can be hard. But, it is important. I am not the same Marla I was 14 years ago. Some things are the same. But, I grew up and learned to love myself. I am more happy now, then ever before. I believe that things I experienced in my past helped to make me the person I am today. I love the Marla that I am today. I would never want to trade back... but I respect who I was and the choices I made. We can not change the past... but we can learn from it to better our future.

Happy bat-mitzvah anniversay Marla. Look how far you have come. Your future is bright! I am sooo proud of you.

Love,

Marla

Disney World

The fam & I went to Disney World the week of Labor Day in September. We went in celebration of my weight loss (so far). I weighed 260lbs at the time of the trip, I think!

Of course I decide 2 days before we leave that I am going to use the bathroom on the plane... just to see if I fit. Why not, right? I had used the bathroom on a greyhound bus summer of 2005 & I almost got stuck in the doorway and I went in sideways!

So the day comes to go to Disney. We board the plane and guess what... Marla didn't need a seatbelt extender! I could pull that belt so that there was a bit of a tail! I didn't need it pulled all the way open. Halfway thru the flight I of course have to go potty. I walk down the aisle to the bathroom... Oh, yeah... I didn't bang against arm rests as I walked by. Not only did I fit in the bathroom, I had enough room to turn around and do a happy dance!!! It was soooo cool!

My buddy Paula knew I was planning on seeing if I could fit into the plane bathroom. So of course, I had to call her as soon as I got off the plane & tell her the good news! Nothing like good times on the phone with Paula!

So Disney rocked! I fit on every ride I wanted to go on! I am sooo a ride person & it had been so long. And I was able to walk... we walked miles each day. I am not saying it was totally easy as I am still heavy - But it was sooooo doable. It was hot & humid & I loved it. I was walking, sweating, having a blast, and just being me! I was living again! It was such a great trip. The new Aerosmith Rocking Rollercoaster - Rocked my world!

Of course on the flight home I used the plane bathroom too, just for kicks!

So behind...

So even though I have been blogging, I neglected to post on some big things. How did that happen? Can I blame the gallbladder and the percocet?

3 little fishies

Oh grandma... You know I wish I was seeing you and grandpa this weekend. I remember you watching me swim when I was little and you calling me a little fish. I remember you singing the 3 little fishies song & then teaching it me. I love The Andrew Sisters because of you. Oh the fun we had. I will always remember & love you!

I miss you lady! A million kisses!

Postponement

It is taking longer then I thought to organize my thoughts for my heros series. I promise it is coming, so please stay tuned.

Surgery Re-cap

So Momsie & Dadsie took me to the hospital on Friday. Anton (my cabbage patch kid) & I were ready. We all waited in the waiting room. Good thing I brought a book. Can't Wait to Get to Heaven, Fannie Flagg's new book. Oh my gawd I love her. Daisy Faye & The Miracle Man is one of my fav books. Finally, after an hour I was called. I changed into my johnnie... it was enormous! Put on my hospital issued socks, gave a urine sample, then I hopped onto my guerney with Anton.

Everyone that walked by asked me about him. He is a cutie. Then the anesthesiologist can by. Well, my mom arranged to have a family friend do it. Jeff has served as anesthesiologist for my brother's surgery, some for my mom & for my breast reduction. He is great! I told him that I have full faith in him. But, he needs to make sure that I stay asleep & wake up when I need too! He smiled!

Then Dr. B came and spoke to me. I told him I was fine & ready. Bring it on! I also told him I wasn't worried & that I had full faith in him. Then jokingly I told him to make me proud. He laughed and said I sounded like his dad! I asked Dr. B if I could take home any souvenirs from the surgery? He said he would send me home with some of my stones! I was all excited!

Next was the fun part. Trying to start my IV. Marla had/has no veins. I had bad veins before chemo. However, chemo killed whatever veins I had left. Only my left arm can be used. And, my veins have a mind of their own. I swear, that they roll out of the way of the imposing needle. Joan wrapped my arm in a hot towel for about 20 minutes. This helped. After a bit of waiting she found a vein. She injected some numbing stuff so I wouldn't feel the sting of the needle. She got the needle into the vein on the first try.! Wahoooo.

Then it was time to go into the ER!

I woke up in recovery very nauseaus! I was more nauseaus after GB. However, this was not a fun feeling! And I had some pain. I found out that I had no hernias and I only had 4 more little incisions! The nurse showed me my 2 stones. One seemed enormous! There is a reason I wanted to take them home. Will share that in a future post. After, a bit of time in recovery it was decided that I would spend the night at the hospital as I wasn't feeling well & looked a bit pale!

They brought me up to my room. I had a couple roomates. Then my parents came up. I gave them the container with my stones to take home. They were surprised by the size of the large one. I dosed a bit. Then went for a walk around the hallway. That felt good. Watched some tv. Then I called Molly (my bestest buddy) to let her know I was spending the night. Then it was time to call Buffy!

I was feeling pretty good. The morphine was working and I felt like chatting on the phone. So we chatted for a bit. I wanted to know how her medical stuff went! Then I asked for some apple juice and some crackers. They brought me some graham crackers. I felt better after I ate then drank!

I went for another walk around 12:30 am. Slept for a bit. In the morning the Dr. came by. Dr. B was off so one of the guys that works with him stopped by to see how I was doing! Then my IV was taken out. Which was nice since the site was starting to get sore. I gave myself a towel bath in the bathroom. Then I put my clothes on myself. Then I hung out till breakfast, watching tv. My parents came and hung out with me. I then found out I was going to be discharged after lunch to make sure I could keep down food. More tv watching and chatting with Momsie & Dadsie. Ate some lunch, then was cleared to go home!

Oh, I almost forgot. Anton got a hospital bracelet too. And he has steri-strips on him in the same spots as mine! I love that!

Prelude to the multi-part series on Marla's heros

So I decided to post about my heros.

Mommie
Grandma Gladys
Golda Meir
Kaye
Kim
Gloria Steinheim

And last but not least, ME!

So over the next few days each of the aforementioned people will have a post decicated to them about why I consider them to be one of my personal heros!



Artist: Mariah Carey
Song: Hero Lyrics

There's a hero If you look inside your heart You don't have to be afraid Of what you are There's an answer If you reach into your soul And the sorrow that you know Will melt away

And then a hero comes along With the strength to carry on And you cast your fears aside And you know you can survive So when you feel like hope is gone Look inside you and be strong And you'll finally see the truth That a hero lies in you

It's a long road When you face the world alone No one reaches out a hand For you to hold You can find love If you search within yourself And the emptiness you felt Will disappear

And then a hero comes along With the strength to carry on And you cast your fears aside And you know you can survive So when you feel like hope is gone Look inside you and be strong And you'll finally see the truth That a hero lies in you

Lord knows Dreams are hard to follow But don't let anyone Tear them away Hold on There will be tomorrow In time You'll find the way

And then a hero comes along With the strength to carry on And you cast your fears aside And you know you can survive So when you feel like hope is gone Look inside you and be strong And you'll finally see the truth That a hero lies in you

The list

So knowing I am going to have my gallbladder out got me thinking about all my other surgeries I have had in my 26 years on this planet!

1984 (4 yrs.) - Eye surgery. Had a mucle cut in my right eye I think. So it wouldn't turn in as much!

1985 (5 yrs.) - Tonsils & adenoids removed. Ear tubes put in.

1989 - 1991 - (9-11 yrs.) - Numerous operations on my right arm, due to my tumor!

1991 (11 yrs.) - My port for chemotherapy is removed.

1996 (16 yrs.) - Scar tissue removed from my elbow

1999 (19 yrs.) - Breast Reduction

2002 (22 yrs.) - Wisdom teeth removed

2006 (26 yrs.) - Gastric Bypass

2006 (26.5 yrs.) - Upcoming gallbladder removal

That is a pretty big list. Oh well! Nuthin' is worse then Chemo!!!!

I'm coming out - as sung by Marla's Gallbladder

Howdie this is Marla's gallbladder writting to you.

Marla had her appointment with Dr. B. yesturday. Well, since I (Marla's gallbladder) am sick... I will be coming out! Dr. B.
thinks the issues with Marla are either gallbladder/ stones, a internal hernia, or a combination plate of the 2 - without the rice & eggroll! So Dr. B. is going to remove me from Marla's body & while he is in there he will check her insides (around the site of her GB) for hernias & if there are any, he will repair them!

Hopefully, I will be coming out next week. Marla is waiting to hear back from Nancy with the date and time of her surgery. She should know by the end of the week. I will make sure that Marla keeps y'all updated with all the details about my removal! Marla is glad Dr. B. is able to repair her! And she is happy that Dr. B. is confident that all can be repaired laproscopically!

Although, surgery is second nature to Marla @ this point in her life she is still just a wee bit nervous. She knows
that it is routine & she will be fine... I keep reminding her that nothing is worse then chemotherapy! I, the gallbladder of Marla will find a way to cheer her up! Don't worry about her, we have it under control!

Anyways, I should end this as Marla doesn't know I am using her laptop and she can get vicious when she gets mad!

Toodles,

GOM - Gallbladder of Marla

Gallbladder, what is it good for...

I now present my ramblings on my Gallbladder...

So I spent last Wednesday night at the emergency room. I was in major pain. I did for a short period of time think that I was was dying. Turns out it could be my gallbladder. I was given morphine & anti nausea stuff too. I have had 2 other episodes like this one. Fun fun.

Well my bloodwork & CT scan came back a bit inconclusive, but good. I meet with my surgeon tomorrow (9.20.06)! So far the doctors I have talked to seem to think it is my gallbladder based on all my symptoms. I still have discomfort amongst other things but not nearly as bad as last week. But, I really feel like something is wrong with my body.

I know I have gallstones. I had an abdominal ultrasound 9.05 as part of my pre-op testing and it showed I had gallstones. Well, I begged my surgeon in NYC to take out my gallbladder but he didn't think it was necessary. He didn't' put me on actigall after my surgery either. When I moved back home & wound up in the follow up program at Salem Hospital I found out that all of the patients get put on actigall for six months post-op to help prevent gallstones. But, since I already had gallstones I wasn't put on it. Wahooo. Wish me luck. Join me later when I fill you in on the excitement of my appointment with my surgeon.

The NYC Trip

So in the middle of August I went to NYC! I met up with 2 buddies from Purchase (The Leah's). To make this post easier When I refer to Leah, that is NY Leah. When I refer to Tex, that is Texas Leah. They are best friends and 2 of my closest friends from college.



So we decided on the NYC trip because Tex was taking the test to get into Med School & much celebrating would be in order after the test. So I went down on a Saturday morning. I met up with Leah @ the Hilton on sixth. From there we checked out the room & then went to get a bit to eat at the diner. We don't have diners in Massachusetts... So you can imagine that I get alittle excited for diner food. There is something magical about eating an egg white omelette with spinach & feta cheese in a NYC diner.



So after food, We headed over to Fifth ave. Marla needed to get a bag & we wanted to go to St. Pat's Cathedral. I had to go see my bag guy. But, I didn't really like his stuff. So I found the better guys & found me an off the truck Christian Dior Bag for $60. It is a candy apple red doctor style bag... kinda sorta. I love it.



Then Leah & I went to St. Pat's Cathedral. neither one of us had been. We lit candles & looked around. The architecture is amazing. I love cathedrals! The place is massively huge!



We then went to MOMA (Museum of Modern Art). Of course I dragged Leah to the Dada exhibit. Kurt Schwitters rocks my world. Then there is my love of LHOOQ, the piece Marcel Duchamp did of the Mona Lisa with a moustache. Good stuff, good times. We then went back to the Hilton to shower & relax.



Since we were upgraded to the concierge floor, we decided to check out the cocktail hour. They had appetizers, so we had a nosh (snack in yiddish). Then hung out in the room & waited for Tex. I hope she passed her test. Anyways, after a bit of relaxing Tex showed up, We finished getting ready & then we went out. We went Over to the Heartland Brewery @ the Empire State Building... but they stopped serving food and it was only 10:45pm. So we walked over to Stout by Penn Station. They had good stuff & they were playing great music. After Stout, we went to Siberia. A hole in the wall bar. A total dive. I felt sooo cool being there. I loved it.



We then called it a night. We needed to be weel rested as we were doing brunch at Lips the next day. Lips is the drag restaurant in the village that we used to go to a great deal. We all became pretty friendly with the Drag Queens there. One of my buddies works there so we went to see him. Good times were had by all. The last time I was at Lips was a month before surgery. So it was so great seeing my buddies who hadn't seen me since surgery.



Going to NYC again in January with Leah & Tex for my 1 year suriversary. We are doing 3 broadway shows & Lips wahoooo! Can't wait to have that frozen cosmo. Well, 5 sips of it cause I will never be able to drink a whole one again...tooo darn large!



And now for the other stuff. I took Greyhound Buslines there and back... I fit in one seat. We walked all over & I was fine. I felt like I belonged in NYC. I fit into the small booth @ the diner. While eating I got ketchup on my shirt. We were only a block away from the hotel, so I told Leah I was gonna change and would meet her at the bank across the street. I never would have done the extra walking before no matter how short a distance even to change my shirt. Too much effort. But, this time it was just second nature... I am gonna run & change my shirt. It was sooo great!

What are you going to do?

Marla, you have lost 117lbs since your surgery & 127lbs from your heaviest weight... What are you going to do?

I AM GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!!!!!

I leave tomorrow morning & come back thursday night!

I am so excited. I will be going with Momsie, Dadsie, & brother Ethan!

Rain & stuff

It never rains in northeastern massacusetts. Hmm so much for summer. Hello fall how are you. I love fall. It is my favorite season. When I get married... which will happen someday, I will have a fall wedding - October. 2 of my favorite holidays occur during fall - Halloween & Thanksgiving.

I think this year I might go as a sexy version of snow white...but I am not quite sure!! i am open to suggestions...So readers I am asking for your ideas as to what you think I should be for Halloween. Post your ideas in the comment section for this post!

So back to the rain. I am not ready for summer to be over! It iwas about 60 degrees in Boston today. I shirt with 3/4 length sleeves and my corduroy jacket. This is not normal August attire! Oh well!

Holy Shnykies Batman...

How can I not have posted in almost 2 months! That isn't good at all! So much has happened, I need to catch y'all up.

The short version:

Survived New England summer

Lost 117lbs since surgery

Rejoined Jdate

Went kayaking for the first time in 16 years... kayaked for almost 2 hours

Bought a bra at Victoria's Secret

Went an a date... not so good

Getting ready for my Disney World trip

Have dates when I come back from Disney World

My stomach no longer sticks out further then my boobs

Oh and as some eye candy for my readers...here is what I look like now

My Theme Song

This song has been my personal theme song for along time. I feel it is appropriate to repost it again in honor of my 6 month surgiversary!


Who can turn the world on with her smile?
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Well it's you girl, and you should know it
With each glance and every little movement you show it

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don't you take it
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after all


How will you make it on your own?
This world is awfully big, girl this time you're all alone
But it's time you started living
It's time you let someone else do some giving

Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don't you take it
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after all

Artist: ("Love is All Around" by Paul Williams) Lyrics
Song: Mary Tyler Moore Show Lyrics

Comments?

So I know I have readers, but why does it seem that I don't get many comments? I really would love feedback on my blog, or questions or thoughts. All you have to do to leave a "comment", is click on the word comment underneath each post. You can comment on a specific post or on the blog in general or whatever you want.

6 month surgiversary = 7.3.06

I made it to the 6 month point. Holy Shiznit! How did I get here? Like the Judy Collins song... Who knows where the time goes? I have lost a total of 106 lbs since surgery and 118 lbs from my heaviest weight. That is equal to a person. I now weigh 274 bs! I was 392 lbs last July and I weighed 380 lbs at the time of surgery. So bizarrely amazing!

Post surgery sizes:

Pants = 24
Tops = 18 (But my new tank tops are a 14/16
Panties = 18/20 (Lane Bryant)
Bra = 42 C

Pre surgery sizes:

Pants = 32
Tops = 26/28
Panties = 26/28 (Lane Bryant)
Bra = 48 C

I feel and look like a new person. It is only going to keep getting better. I am so glad I made the choice to have this operation. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. I completely got my life back. I can do things now that I haven't done in years!! I am just so happy. I can't weight to see what happens to me during the next six months. My journey so far as been amazing & I look forward to riding it out till the end.

Getting Skinny

So i am now able to sit inbetween 2 people on the subway. I never thought that would happen. So crazy. But, it is so cool. I went to the Festival of The Arts today with the fam. Good times. We probably walked 2 miles & I had a good time even though it was humid. I never went last summer. When you weigh 392 lbs you don't get out much in the humidity. And I wasn't that cranky. : )

Happy Belated Birthday Grandma!

I have been debating on writing this post. Not sure whether I wanted to our not. For those of you who actually have the pleasure of knowing me...You know there is a lot of stuff I am just starting to share. So, with that in mind I thought this post might be therapeutic for me!

Tuesday June 13, 2006 would have been my grandmother's 83rd birthday. She died one month before I turned 15 in 1995. Not the best thing to happen me freshman year @ MHS. Anyways, my grandma and I were incredibly close. She was my best friend. She was the only person I ever really felt understood me. You'll will understand more as you keep reading. Don't worry Molly, you have always been and will always be my other half!! But, it was just different with my grandmother.

She died from breast cancer that spread. What made it worse for me was the fact that she too went through chemotherapy & radiation treatment. Although our illnesses were different we had to have the same treatment. This made us that much closer. When she died, I couldn't handle it and completely shut down. I call it my nervous breakdown. However, that might not be the best way to label it.

It was so much more then letting myself go. I shut down & shut off. It took time & therapy to be able to get my life back together. I will never get over the fact that my grandmother was taken away from me & I will always hold that grudge against gawd. However, I got my life back. My grandmother would have been so upset if she knew I was like that after she died. And, I so glad I am at the point I am at. Because, I know she is watching out for me & glowing with pride and happiness at how well her Marla is doing. I am now about to start crying... dang it.

Happy belated birthday dear sweet Gladys. I miss you lady but I know you are watching out for me every day. A million kisses!

Working Girl

I got a new job!!!! Wahoo. It was offered to me on Monday & I offically accepted the postition on Tuesday. It is for a non-profit in Boston. I will be contract for 4 months, then I will go full-time. I will be getting health benefits once I go full time. My Salary for full time employment is the same as I was making in NYC. Very exciting. This is really the year of the Marla. More good things to look forward too!

Fat School Graduate

So on Tuesday of this week I graduated from the 12 week Heart & Wellness gastric bypass follow up group. I earned that t-shirt. I am a little sad that I won't be at Shaughnessy on Tuesday mornings now. However, atleast I have my NOC meetings to look forward to with my girls!! I can't believe that July 3rd will be my 6 month anniversary. I never thought I would be doing as well as I am so soon. I feel great.

The Amazing Marla

I can perform magic. Seriously I can. I able to cross my legs. Either one of them. The last time I remember being able to cross my legs was at my bat-mitzvah when I was 12. I was sitting on the bimah at my temple during the reading of the torah. Funny story. Because, my legs were crossed you could see up my dress. So Rabbi Goldberg came over and told me I should uncross them. My mom mouthed that to me as well!

I can cross my legs again. Other magic tricks I can perform include:

• Adjusting the driver's seat in my car without stopping the car and opening the door

• Being able to pick up things that fall at my feet while driving without stopping the car and opening the door

• My thigh no longer touches the door while sitting behind the wheel of my car. In addition, I now fit on the seat

More good things to come. I can't wait. Bring'em on!

Random Lump = Cancer

This happened like 3 weeks ago, but it is still funny. Typical Marla being dumb behavior!! I submit the following story for your entertainment.

I was in bed trying to fall asleep. I wind up scratching an itch around the base of my neck. Well, I fell a huge lump. Me being me...I start to panic a little. I sit up and proclaim, "Holy shit, I have cancer!" I keep feeling the lump & pondering waking up my parents to take me to the ER @ Salem Hospital. I have my feet on the floor ready to go wake them up, when I decided to check out the other side. I have a lump there too. Then the light bulb goes off.... I HAVE COLLAR BONES! Silly Marla.

Run Marla Run

So, I ran the other day! Very weird. Fat people don't run & yet my 287 lb body was running. I was at the mall working the other day when the running took place. Long story short, I ran after a customer to suggest a product to him. So I suggested to the manager on that I would run after him. I took the product and off I went.

Not only was I running, I was running in my birkenstocks. Alas, I never found the guy. However, I ran like 200 feet and didn't pass out or run. Should I reiterate that fat people don't run. I was alittle out of breathe, but not huffing & puffing in a bad way. 911 did not need to be called and I was able to walk back to where I work! Go Marla!!!

Send happy vibes to Tamalamba

So my buddy Tammy is having surgery today @ NSMC... I am asking all of my readers to send happy, positive vibes to Tammy!!!
Good luck Tamalamba!!

The things I say

Well, my epiphany today was that as of now, I have probably lost a seventh grader. I think 93 lbs = a seventh grader. If I loose all the weight that I want to, either 250 lbs or 270 lbs... I will be loosing a morbidly obese person. That is f 'ing insane! I will shed a morbidly obese person at the end of all this madness. Silly Marla.

Mirror, Mirror

Mirror, Mirror on the wall who is the fairest of them all? Why of course you are Princess Marla! Not only are you beautiful, but are you smart, talented, & gosh darn it people like you!!!

There's a moose in your house

So I hung out with one of my fat school buddies this evening (Tuesday). It was game night with some of her friends. Yours truly was invited. It was a blast seeing Tammy outside of fat school. Her friends were great. Good food, good people, good times!!!

Tammy cooked yummy food. That cornbread was amazing! Wowzer! Anyways, when Tammy emails me the recipe I will try to replicate it. We played a fun game called There's a moose in your house. The directions were rather complicated. Hey, I studied art in school & am from the 'head. At least, I am able to hold my cards. Once we got through the first game things were looking up and we actually got the hang of it. All in all, I think a good time was had by all!

Things that Princess Marla can now do!!

So here is an update to a previous post about things I was looking forward to doing after surgery! Here is a list of things I am able to do.

• Rideable video games

• Sit comfortably in the back seat of a car & be able to use the seat belt

• Walk much more then a block before getting winded

• Shave my legs easily

• Sit on the ground & get up

• Get up from the couch without issue

But, I truly can't wait to go to Canobie Lake & go on rides!!! i am also looking forward to getting on a bike again. Once I loose 40 more pounds I will be able to ride my bike. Watch out!

Quarters, Raspberry Sherbert, & Dancing Monkeys

The weather today was fantabulous. I was able to leave work early and truly enjoy the beautiful weather. I had made plans with Ethan (my brother) to go to The Willows and frolic! I love it there. It is just so much fun! And now that I weigh significantly less, it is far more easier to frolic!



Loads of quarters were spent in the arcade. The arcade is my favorite place to be at The Willows! I am big fan of rideable video games...like the ones were you are skiing. Well, let's just say that it is so much easier to do these. Also, I am able to fit in the seats for the race car ones!! YIPPPEEEE!!!

I am so happy. I can't wait to go tot Canobie Lake this summer. I haven't had an amusement park fix in years. I have been way to heavy to go on rides. But, not this summer. I can go on roller coasters again. YIPPPEEEE!!! Anyways, so Ethan & I did a bunch of video games, the motion simulator ride, pin ball, and some games where you win tickets!! Good times.



The Dancing Monkey thing is the best. You put in a quarter and the monkeys in the box dance. THEY ARE NOT REAL MONKEYS! Some play little instruments too. I have always loved this. When I was little I used to dance when the monkeys danced. We danced together. Well today a little girl & her parents were dancing with the monkeys. Ethan & I did too, on the sidelines. So much fun!



I wanted to go on the carousel, however Ethan did not. I also forgot how little it was. But, it would have been fun. Oh well, I will go on the one at Canobie Lake! I did get some raspberry sherbert. I got a kiddie size cup and didn't even eat a quarter of it. Thankfully Ethan finished it along with his popcorn. The sherbert was so good. It didn't cause me to dump either...BONUS!!! It was nice to have something frozen and sweet while at The Willows! I never would have gotten sherbert before. I would have gotten ice cream with stuff it and jimmies. However, I definitely can't eat more then a bite of that now. That is fine, because I am looking so good. Can't wait to go back to The Willows. Maybe during the Week!